Ye shall be as fan girl
by Erin Elric
Summary: Jr decides life would be more interesting if KOSMOS acted different. Title says it all... well most of it.
1. Chapter 1

Hi this is my first Xenosaga fic. Don't ask me where this weird idea came from but here it is. Read review no flames.

Ye shall be as Fan girl

Ch 1 Say what?!

Jr. was bored, he had devised a plan to cure his boredom. He walked down to the area where KOS-MOS was kept.

"Hello Jr." said Allen

"Hi Allen."

"What brings you down here?"

"Shion is looking for you. She says that she _has_ to see you."

"Really!" he yelped dropping the clip bored and took off running up stairs.

"Well that was easy." Said the read haired URTV as he walked over to KOS-MOS's repair tank. He pressed a few random buttons on the computer. "Done, and done." He laughed. "I can't wait till they wake her up." He said walking away.

"I'm telling you he told me you wanted to see me." Said Allen as he followed Shion back into KOS-MOS's room.

"Honestly Allen I told him no such thing. I haven't even see him all day. Now watch the screen I'm going to wake her up." She pressed a button on the computer. "Good morning KOS-MOS."

The lid slowly raised up as KOS-MOS sat up. "Good morning, Shion."

"How are you feeling?"

"All systems are functioning normally."

"Good."

KOS-MOS got up and began to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going?"

She ignored them and continued walking out the door.

The two engineers followed her.

Chaos was walking down the hallway minding his own business when suddenly.

"OH MY GOD! YOUR SO HOT!" yelled KOS-MOS who tackled him.

"GAH!" screamed Chaos who hit the ground with a half-ton android on top of him.

"Oh my God!" yelled Shion.

"Oh dear…" said Allen

"Get her off of me!" cried Chaos.

"I loves you so much my dear little silver haired friend."

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

"KOS-MOS that's not a proper way to act!" yelled Shion as she tried to pull her off of him.

"NO!!!!! Don't separate me from him!!!!"

They pulled her off of him.

Chaos took off running down the hall way as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"WAIT! MY LITTLE KADAJ LOOK A LIKE!" she called.

"Say what?" asked Shion

"He reminded me of Kadaj from Final Fantasy VII Advent Children."

"Who?" asked Allen.

"You know Kadaj. Looks kind of like Sephiroth except younger."

"What is she babbling on about."

Shion didn't know what was going on but she knew who did it. "JR!!!!!!!" she yelled.

Jr. laughed to himself as he opened a book and began to read.

Next chapter coming soon. Remember read review no flames.


	2. Cosplay?

Thanks all for the reviews. Sorry it's taken so long to update. I don't own Xenosaga nor the animes or video games mentioned in here. Also I have nothing against fan girls or fan boys, I only made this fanfic because my brain decided it would be funny if a killer android was a fan girl for a while.

Ye shall be as fan girl 

Ch 2 Cosplay?

"Jr!" Yelled Shion marching into his room.

He looked up at her from the book he was reading. "Oh hellos Shion. Need something?"

"What did you do?!" she demanded

"What ever do you mean?"

"Cut the cute crap."

"Oh so I'm cute now?"

"Gaignun Kukai Jr! What did you do to KOS-MOS!?"

"I gave her a make over so to speak."

"Jr. Tell me what you did or else."

"Or else what?"

She pulled out a picture and showed it too him.

"Okay no need to show that around I'll tell you."

"Good."

"I changed KOS-MOS program. It'll only last a week."

"What is this new program?"

"The Fan girl."

"The Fan girl?"

"It was program made to promote stuff. It's old and out dated now since people don't use androids as much now. They would install it in the android and have them at stores and conventions to promote: movies, video games, books, anime all kinds of things."

"That's stupid."

"Well it worked then people got tired so it just disappeared."

"So how did you find it then?"

"Internet."

She sighed then shook her head. "It only lasts for a week?"

"It should."

She threw her hands up in the air and began to leave the room.

"Hey Shion."

"What now?"

"Friends?"

She glared at him then left.

"I guess not." He said as he continued to read the book.

"That's the weirdest program I have ever heard of." Said Allen

"Well Jr. claims it'll only last a week so till then we'll just have to watch her closely. So what she doing now?"

He chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head. "The thing is she's…"

"What?"

"She's sowing something."

"Sowing! Sowing what?"

"Clothes I guess. She won't let me in her room."

She sighed. "That… android!" she yelled walking into her room. "KOS-MOS what are you…"

The whole room was decorated with posters and wall scrolls, and off in the distance she heard music. "Oh my God."

"Hello Shion." Said KOS-MOS smiling as she walked into the room. "How do you like my new room?"

"What is all this? What are you wearing and what is that noise?"

"Posters and wall scrolls from my favorite animes. I sewed some new clothes because I felt my old ones were too reveling. And that 'noise' is the Last Exile OST."

"A pink sundress? What's a Last Exile?"

"This is a Aerith cosply outfit, and Last Exile is an anime about-"

"Enough! Your giving me a head ache."

"But Shion-"

"I said that's enough." She said leaving

"Your stupid and boring!" she called.

"Well?" asked Allen

"She's cosplaying."

"Cos-what?"

"I don't know either. I can't put up with this."

"It's not like she's causing any harm I think it's kind of funny."

"What if we get attacked! It won't be so funny then now will it!?"

"No… but it's not like we're alone there are-"

"That's not the point Allen. She can't defend herself if she's like this."

"Chief I think your going a bit over board with this."

"I'm being reasonable!" she yelled leaving

"Oh my God she can be such a drama queen." Said KOS-MOS

Allen just laughed.

"I wonder if any one else on this ship will take up cosplaying too?"

"Maybe."

"I think this would fit you." She said holding out a black outfit with a red cape.

"What?"

"You can be Vincent Valentine. I even have a wig."

"No."

"Please."

"No, no, no."

"Please." She said making a sad face.

"Fine." He said taking the clothes and walking to the bathroom to put them on.

"Do they fit?" she asked.

"Yeah, they are a little loose but other than that they fit really well."

"Good. Now come out so I can see what they look like."

He stepped out side. "Erm… I don't know about this."

"You look fine. Come on." She said taking his hand. "With you at my side I can get more to cosplay!"

"What!?" he yelped as she dragged him along carrying a bag of clothes.

Next chapter coming soon, maybe. Read review no flames.


	3. Thus spoke KosMos

Thanks all for the reviews sorry about the long delay once again. Remember oocness is deliberate.

Ye shall be as fangirl

Chapter 3 Thus spoke Kos-mos

Kos-mos dragged the less than happy Allen down the hallways of the Durandel.

"I really think this is a bad idea." Whined Allen as he tired to pull away. Though the young man soon learned it was too difficult to pull away from an android with kung fu like death grip.

"Stop your complaining." She quickly snapped

Allen decided that he liked the unemotional android far better than this crazed one in a pink dress. He began to hope that Shion or chaos would walk by and set him free.

Kos-mos dragged the ever-unwilling Allen to the bridge sadly for Allen no friend had walked by.

"Gaignun!" She called loudly

The black haired URTV turned around to witness the two in cosplay. Trying not to laugh the man quickly asked. "Yes what is it Kos-mos?"

"I need to make an announcement." She said walking up the slop to the platform he was on still dragging Allen who was being to become desperate and started begging Gaignun to help him.

"An announcement?" he asked ignoring the troubled researcher. "What kind of announcement?"

"You don't need to know the details of that." She said pushing him aside and taking control of the computer. "To all residents of the Durandel I Kos-mos have an announcement to make."

"Oh God." Said Allen

"Tomorrow will be cos-play day. For those who don't know what that is, all you have to do is dress up like some one from your favorite, video game, cartoon, anime, movie or TV show. This is mandatory, that is all." She said closing the link.

"You can't do that!" protested Gaignun who had thought this was all fun and games till the android starting making her own rules.

"And why not?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"Because this is my ship."

"Actually its little Master's ship." Said Mary from a nearby computer station.

"And that argument is rather… childish, Master Gaignun." Said Shelly from the opposite computer.

Gaignun put his hand on his forehead and mumbled. "All you woman are against me."

"And me." Added Allen who at this point and time was all ready felling like the loser at the end of a battle, and the battle hadn't even started yet.

"Kos-Mos!" screamed Shion as she stomped onto the bridge.

"Great more troubles." Mumbled Gaignun

"Allen why did you let her do that? On another note why did you let her make that announcement?"

"I didn't!" added Gaignun who looked at her hand away from his face.

"She dragged me up here! I swear I had nothing to do with it chief."

She rolled her eyes. "And you young lady." She said marching up to Kos-Mos. "This is ridiculous _I AM NOT_ going to tolerate this behavior anymore!" she grabbed the android's wrist. "You will go back to you 'room' get rid of that stupid dress, then cancel you order. Do you understand me?"

She jerked her hand away. "You're not _my_ boss!"

"You're right. I am your creator, you have to obey my orders!"

"No! I have a new creator now." She said walking over to Allen.

"Me?" asked Allen

"Him? He only assisted in your creation."

"So what. He's passive and light weight I like him better." She said grabbing his arm. "Come on Allen."

"But I don't wanna go!" he protested grabbing any thing he could get a hold of. Which included the computer panel, Mary's shoe and finally Gaignun's arm.

"Don't drag me into your 'family' problems!" yelled the black haired URTV as he tired to move away from them, with Allen still clinging to him.

This resulted in poor little ol'Allen being pulled in two different directions. It really was a sight to behold.

"Help!" cried Allen

"Kos-Mos let him go before you hurt him!" yelled Shion grabbing at the android hand trying to pry it off of Allen.

"Some body help me!" yelled Gaignun.

The bridge then came to life with many 100 series (who Gaignun's unspoken fan club) also Marry and Shelly decided to help him.

Sadly for Allen his side was outnumbered as Gaignun's whole group pushed him away from the URTV. Allen still being pulled by Kos-mos flew through the air like a cartoon character, knocking Shion on her butt and causing Kos-mos to fall over as well.

Jr. walked in about this time to witness Allen's lesson in flight. "What the hell?" he asked arching one eyebrow at all of them.

Gaignun brushed off his clothes and straighten his tie. "Kos-Mos is acting weird." He said.

"Oh yeah I know about that all ready."

"He's the one who did it!" yelled Shion pointing at Jr. as she straighten up her hair.

Jr. chuckled as he looked away from her. "I did no such thing." He said voice dripping with faux innocence.

"Liar!" protested Shion

"Now children there's no need in this-" started Gaignun who was quickly cut off by Jr.

"Children? I'm older than you."

Gaignun rolled his eyes. "Well your sure not acting like it."

Before Jr. could respond with a come back Shion decided to take the conversation back to the problem at hand.

"Aren't you going to do something about what he did? What if we're attacked she can't defend us attacking like this!"

"And you can't fight for your self why?" asked Gaignun crossing his arms.

Jr. laughed.

Shion pouted. "That was uncalled for! You need to get control of _your_ ship!"

"It's not mine its his." He said pointing at Jr.

Shion wasn't very happy with the results of this conversation. "Come one Allen!" she said leaving.

"Yes chief." He said trying to follow her but Kos-Mos grabbed him.

"No you are coming with me."

"Yes Kos-Mos." He sighed as he half willingly followed the android off the bridge.

"Jr." said Gaignun

"Yeah?"

"If anything horrible happens I'm blaming you for it."

"Great." He sighed as he left the bridge as well.

Next chapter coming… as soon as I think of it


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